Thursday, May 26, 2005

Not the best possible world yet

Today, I wanna tell you a piece of information which I supposed many of you have experienced yourself in the 'real world'

I shall reserved the name of my parent company (but it's easy to find out anyway). I used to looked up a lot to this parent company and I supposed many in my field dream of working for them because of its reputation and of course, $$$. Contrast to what many thought, I earn little and work a lot. I found out, most of my friends are earning a lot more than me at this age.

We always call ourselves 'anak angkat' working in this radio station. After 6 months here, i began to lose respect for this parent company for it's political grounds, bias treatment and the cocky people from there who looked down on us. I got bashed today on the phone from one of the 'big editors' and well, I often kena bash after working here from many types of people. At times, I bashed them back when I'm not in my best patience, regardless of their positions (which may get me into trouble). Even internally, the treatment differs between us and another station who make more $$$. The bosses, I don't really know how to explain...
I began to realised, not only in theories, that this world is full of corruption and injustice. All the talks about fair treatments, I don't believe they exist in this fallen world. This world talks about contacts, who is who, $$$, even the way we dress and our image, they play a very important role on how people look and think of you. Where I am now, the job i undertake, the people i meet have widened my horizons, unfortunately, to much 'ugliness' with first hands experience. I don't have even a single colleague now, who is a christian. Therefore, vulgar words and peverse thoughts aloud surround me each day. Even internally, I believe I have to be careful of whom to trust.

There was one point a few weeks ago when i just hated this world and asked, "God, when are you coming? I just wanna go Home".

Yesterday when i drove home, stuck in the jam...i was just thinking, what am i doing here in KL? Should i leave and pack my bags back to Penang for good?

Still thinking...especially after papa called yesterday and he is retiring in Nov. But i believe the time to pack my bags is not now, even though i wanted to. Seriously, my field is in KL, don't know what to do in Penang? And I will think twice to work for my parent company, which has a branch in Penang

This is not the best possible world yet, Thank God

4 comments:

joygee said...

i'm going to miss u if u plan to go back to penang ;(

but i believe that things happen for a reason.. and everything that happens will somehow shape our decisions...

but dont worry, i go back to penang every year for cny... will visit ya then (if u decided to go back lar)... hehehe

Jeanine said...

Yup it's a real big bad world out there.. but that's why Jesus died on the cross. That's why the world needs Him so badly. That's why WE need Him everyday. :)

Dark Kai said...

Hi there. No doubt that the world is a real ugly place. But I believe there are still lots of good people out there. Just pray, do your best and leave everything else to the Lord.

aleeeee said...

feel very down and sad after reading this article. Especially I as one of the $$$ station's employee who just sit beside you every weekday. I think i can feel how u feel. I used to be very frust on what happened in the real world. But what to do? Have to accept it and live with it. sounds discourage but that is what i am doing now. trying to be bad and good at the same time. that's where balance point comes in. the boss, no comment to her. but please don't leave the office. i will have nobody to call "yan zhen"......

Let's add oil together!!!