Monday, June 07, 2010

To Mummy

This entry should have came in last month. Albeit a lil late, I still want to write this because she is an important figure in my life.

One thing rings afresh in my memory is this "I really thought of going away after you were born but there was no place to turn to and you were still so young. I cannot leave you."

That's my mummy.

There was once I remember waking up from a nap and find her gone. Few hours later, she came home. I asked her where did she go. She said she tried cycling to the bridge and wanted to jump off but she came back when she thought of me. I barely remember how old I was then but I know, I was young.

That's part of my story growing up. And of late, I have begun to realised who I am today is shaped a lot by the last 29 years of my life - what took place, the lessons learnt, the people who sacrificed for me and mostly, the strength drawn from pains and of course, later on...the encounter with Jesus Christ that transformed my worldviews and how I understand life itself.

Without mom, I wouldn't be where I am today. She made tough choices for me. She endured a lot of hardships, trust me. The worst would be my dad's furious tempers. Mom isn't someone who is highly literate but she taught me more than what a Degree could possibly offer. She taught me resilience. Keep going, stay positive and we can make a choice for ourselves. We must. Do you know I have never seen mom cry growing up? Perhaps she did but I don't remember it was ever in front of me.

She thought marrying dad was an unwise choice and often reminds me, never to make the same mistake. I understand why, because family suffers. She regretted that as a child, I had to endure the things a child shouldn't have to. As a young child, I was always living in fear and self confidence took years to build, mostly only after I encountered Christ.

This entry is dedicated to my mummy - for all that she has done for me and the family. The worst days are over and I am more than thankful for where we are today. Mom too, has met Christ. And as all my friends who have met her, they just love her because she is bubbly and friendly. That's mom, she has always been even when times are rough.

For my life has been bought with a price - a price that mom paid, sticking through to make sure I grow up well, preventing me from mixing with the wrong company, be educated to help us out of poverty and being educated means I can think better, make wiser choices..

My mom will probably not be able to read this entry but she is really my HERO. Without her sacrifices, I wouldn't be the way that I am. I hope I can be a good daughter to you even though I cannot offer you luxuries. I hope I will be as strong as you have shown me. I hope you will spend the rest of your days happier that when you first had me because both Mei & I have grown up now. I hope you will continue to bring joy to the people around you. I never regretted that you married dad because I grew up stronger with higher resilience in the face of challenges. I learn forgiveness in depth through hardships. I LOVE you mummy. I always will. I am glad God made you my mom.

Happy Mother's Day.


gidenlim said...

Probably the most unlike person you'll find to leave you a comment. Somehow, I came across this post and found it very encouraging. Mothers are the most wonderful gift God has given to us.
Thanks for posting this =)

enn@j said...


Indeed, most unlikely person. My blog has been kept very low profile and I don't even expect anyone reading!

Yes, mothers are wonderful beings. Yours too. She's been through a lot as well. And I thank God for your family who took me in at one point:)