Tuesday, July 17, 2007

I'm not giving up my passion

As I write this post, I'm overwhelmed by a lot of things in my mind but there's one thing I'm reminded of Begin with the end in mind

I have been too consumed lately with the hiccups and hopelessness in my life and future, the dream & passion which are still far beyond reach, surrounded by clouds of impossibilities, resulting me to doubt my passion, allowing it to fade. These has weighed me down, resulting me to get a little personal with God, questioning Him "Why am I robbed of my prefered life just because my dad didn't do his part well? How long will it take for me to get there? I'll be old and grey by then...."
I was weary = at the verge of giving up my dream because some people commented that reality is different from our preferred life and not everyone will get a chance to live their dreams. It's just a fact that needs to be accepted and then perhaps, life will not be so tough on me

I disagree

Even if it takes me years to get there, God willing, I'm holding on and I'm not giving up. With all honesty, the road's a bit bumpy for now, the journey unpleasant and long. I'm not enjoying it as it makes me tired and sick at times. No matter how far my steps bring me, I couldn't see the sunlight.
But if I give this up, I have no end to look forward to, I have no purpose to live for. Life will just pass me by, my life will be of no difference - no legacy, no story to tell, non-inspiring for others, no pointing to the Faith & God I believe in.

Heroes have risen and fallen in human history. In God's Book, even the Heroes recorded have their honest share of struggles. I hope to remain as honest as possible to my human nature and yet holding on to my Heavenly calling. Yes, it's a battle at most times because it's such a constant pull. But I want to fix my mind on the End which gave me every reason to begin

To those who bumped into this entry and made it to the end of this reading, no matter who you are and where you are, if you share similar struggles and can emphatise with the emotions here, I salute you for partaking the 'sufferings' together and my advise, don't give up. After all, our Christian walk was never meant to be easy because we desire for such much more, which this world cannot offer. If we ourselves gave up hope, what's left for those who watches us?

Let's carry on, together. One thing that's beautiful in my journey, I have met many wonderful friends to share my imperfect life with...such priceless footprints

God's delays are not God's denials


aronil said...

Do not fret my dear friend. You aren't alone in the feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness,and utter frustration with where you are in time.

I came to a bigger realisation after i started my desk job, and put more thought into where i wanna go. We have plans and we have dreams and we only have one life. Not one to believe in working round the clock just to make ends meet...I'm idealistic to think that we can still be happy even without the cash.

Glad to know you are still chasing what you wish to be, keep your chin up and with the Lord's strength fight on to reach it. If it is what you love, you won't have any regret along the journey.

My next post is dedicated to you and all those out there who are fighting for their dreams. Till then God's strength and perseverance be with you!

"It is never too late to be who you might have been." - George Elliot.

enn@j said...

Thanks! :)
I hope you will hold on to God as close as possible too and keep fighting a good fight!