I'm not a nice person
...and I'm not saying this because of rendah diri.
I learnt a whole lot about myself for the past 1 1/2 years at my current job. I discovered my bad points, weaknesses, what gets to my nerves and had my patience & tolerance level stretched. It magnified all the dirts in me
I possessed natural skills in sarcasm and I dislike to be threaten or challenged. Is this pride? I believe to a certain point, yes.
I dislike to 'kow tau' to authorities and rebel even more when being pushed. I dislike to be superficially pleasant for the sake of entertaining different kerenah of human attitudes. I dislike the term customer service and sometimes, customers.
I dislike to be measured so consistently and observed so closely. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, office politics and cliques. Details cannot be posted here as I have been threaten before on blogging anything on my feelings about my job, which I totally don't understand how can an organization restrict a person's personal feelings? It's pointless to even reason about it anyway.
I'm not a people pleaser and practice 'don't give face' principle if I think the person does not deserve such honour. I can be utterly stubborn in standing for what I believe in and I cannot stand people who accept things without putting up a good reasoning first when they should.
I thought all these 'attributes' have been kept away a long time ago but slowly surfacing when the wind blows the right direction...which goes to show, you really can't change who you are. You can only learn to keep them under control. A spirit-filled christian should be able to keep his / her temperament under control by understanding both its strengths and weaknesses and ultimately, Who is in charge.
If you think I'm nice, think again. I'm not that nice after all. But I think you get the idea after the reading the above ;p
...and I dislike this part about me. Horrid