Monday, May 16, 2005

a reflection

Saturday was spent at Serdang. I like it there, always.
Friends, especially my lovely ex-housemates...with an open arms of welcome anytime =) and yes kiawin 'bla-duh', i left my footprints there! Found them? Dun worry, didn't use your 'oinky' room!

The pace in serdang, slower but much reminded me of where i 'originated' dear hometown, Penang. The old buildings, the marketplace, the reckless motorists and even the's cheap and good. Life's simpler there...

Watched Kingdom of Heaven with Melody (btw, thanks for your towel, hot milo, ride in your engine always mati car, red heart with hands pillow but most of all, your love in our friendship).
Kingdom Of Heaven, i shall not review on the movie as there are many who have done so. But what strike me was the final scene when Balian and Saladdin exchanged for Jerusalem with condition after realising that neither will win the war. Many didn't understand why would Balian give up Jerusalem to the Muslim as it seemed that he has lost by giving up the Holy Land. But Balian's war was for his people, he'd rather them be saved of their lives than defending the Land and lives be lost.

"Jerusalem is here (pointing to the mind) and here (pointing to the heart) and that kingdom will never be taken away from you" reminds me of the churches today. A church is just a building and anything man-made can never be permanent for all will pass. What is a church? A church is the people. On bigger buildings, there is nothing wrong with that if it's not built for own pride or selfish gain but one should never based one's passion and excitement just because the church is going to have a bigger building but more on fixing one's eyes on that eternal kingdom that is to come. I thank God for the bigger building my church will be blessed with in near future but my excitement lies on that bigger one coming, that gets me really hyped up and excited!

Of all the lines in the movie, this left deep footprints in my heart after walking out of the cinema. Throughout the whole movie, Balian kept feeling and believing that God did not favor him and was not with him until in the final scene, a Muslim warrior said
"If God is not with you, how could you have done all that you did?"

That left me thinking and reflected on my own walk with Him. True...where I am today, what i do at this very moment and how far i've come, all will not be possible had it not for His grace that i so do not deserved. For one such as me is a wretched creature that He picked up at the Cross. A life that has been bought at the Cross, not of my own anymore but I am glad to surrender it to better Hands, in fact the Best Hands. I have done things my own ways, i have rebelled, i have lived in sins (am still a sinner, don't get me wrong), i have suffered depression, i have been angry with me, i have been a stupid when i did all those =)

Am learning and still learning each day what it means to be a good daughter to my Father. By the grace of God and His mercy, I'm more than grateful He saved me.

Had God not be with me, how could i have done all that was?

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