She is gone

She is gone.


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I spent 17 years everyday with her, endless memories, both good and bad ones.


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I guess when you spent your growing up years with your grandparents, they influenced some parts of you, shaped certain ways of life about you, and you reflect them in some ways.


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Her funeral was filled with people, some relatives which I don't even recognised but staying with her has its 'perks'...they seemed to recognised me.
Ah Chin, yes that's my name. That's how my amah calls me.

Amah is the third wife to my ah kong (grandpa) and she married him after her first husband passed away. My first uncle has 2 wives and amah has many anak angkat (god-children) and friends. She is 92 or 91, we are unsure of her actual birthdate.

She's quite vain in her appearance, she must always appear presentable with her hair done up in a nice sanggul, eyebrow drawn nicely and face pamper with self-made bedak. She only wears sarung and baju kebaya, I remember her beautiful belts, accessories and manik shoes.


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Amah is gone now, I hope to a better place.
When someone leaves, they take a portion of your life. To a certain extend, they define you...at least for me, she defined my eating habits and preference for spicy food.

I will be proud of that part about me because that's how I will remember her and tell others about her.


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But every family has its own problems. For mine, is disunity amongst some of the uncles and aunties. My dad almost fought with my uncle at her funeral. Notoriously known for his furious tempers, my dad has always been the fiercest in his family. Nop, my amah didn't leave any inheritance, its more about the chinese custom of rankings during the wake's ritual ceremony...which I cannot be bothered much about.

That's the sad part about my family, about any families - disunity.

R.I.P Amah.
And thank you for giving me an inheritance which no money can buy.